Tuesday – 16^th Sep 2008

 

The Chairman called one of his employees into the office.

“Bob,” he said, “you've been with the company for just six months.

You started off in the mail room, a week later you were promoted to a sales position.

One month after that you were promoted to district manager of the sales department.

Two months later you were promoted as vice-president of operations.

Two months after that you were promoted as COO.

Last month you were promoted as CEO

Now it's time for me to retire, and I want you to take over the company as Chairman. What do you say to that?”

“Thanks,” said Bob.

“Thanks?” the boss exclaimed.

“Is that all you can say?”

“I suppose not,” bob said,

“Thanks, Dad”

 

vasus musings

some get the riches in a platter

but why envy or crib

for is it  your mistake  

of not being born in the right crib

[or is it?]

 

instead of wishing for a rich dad

who expects you to thank for what he provides

better to thank our real father - GOD

who provides all our needs

but expects no thanks in return

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PAYMENT PROCESSING FORM

UK NATIONAL LOTTERY HEADQUARTERS
P O Box 1010 Liverpool,
(Customer Services)

Dear Winner,

We are pleased to inform you of the result of the just concluded
annual
final draws of UNITED KINGDOM NATIONAL
PROGRAM. After this automated computer ballot, your e-mail address emerged
as one of two winnersin the category "A" You are therefore been approve to
claim the sum of 1,000,000 (One Million Pounds Sterling) with the

information below:

REF No UK/9420X2/68/neo
BATCH No: 2005MJL-01
LUCKY No: 887-13-865-37-10-83
TICKET No: 56475600545188

Contact the processing Consultant:

Contact Person: Owen Brown
Tel: +44 7012 965 345
Email: uknlclaimsdpt002@yahoo.co.uk

PAYMENT PROCESSING FORM:

(1) FULL NAME
(2) FULL ADDRESS
(3) NATIONALITY
(4) AGE
(5) OCCUPATION
(6) TELEPHONE NUMBER
(7) SEX
(8) CURRENT COUNTRY
(9) MARITAL STATUS

Best Of Luck,
Caroline Bryan.
Uk National Lottery.

_____________________________________________________________________

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University of San Carlos, P del Rosario Street, Cebu City, Philippines, www.usc.edu.ph

URGENT REPLY NEEDED

Vous êtes invité ::		URGENT REPLY NEEDED
Par votre hôte:		Niti Williams
Message:		URGENT REPLY NEEDED Dear I am Dr Niti Williams, I work with Bank of Africa Burkina faso. I have a proposal to transffer the sum of ($22.5 Million usdollars) from abandoned account to your bank account, It is 100% risk free, If you are intrested reply me at my private email address nathywilliams@live.fr Tel 00226 70 61 71 28. Regards Williams
Date:		vendredi 12 septembre 2008
Heure:		19h 30 - 20h 30  (GMT+00:00)
Viendrez-vous ?		Répondre à cette invitation

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a bit of laugh + a by(i)te of sanity - friday 12th sep 2008

Friday – 12^th September 2008

 

Master :      Ha! Servant, how are you, my old boy? How do things go on at home?

Servant:     nothing much, Sir, except the dogs’ dead!

Master :      Poor dog – so hes’ gone – how did he come to die ?

Servant.      Over-ate himself, Sir.

Master.       Did he indeed? a greedy dog. Why, what did he get that he liked so well?

Servant.      Horseflesh; he died of eating horseflesh.

Master.       How come he got so much horseflesh?

Servant.      All your father's horses, Sir.

Master.       What! are they dead too?

Servant.      Ay, Sir; they died of over-work.

Master.       And why were they over-worked?

Servant.      To carry water, Sir.

Master.       To carry water, and what were they carrying water for?

Servant.      To put out the fire sir

Master.       FIRE ! what FIRE?

Servant.      Your father's house is burned down to the ground.

Master.       My father's HOUSE BURNT DOWN !! - how did it come to be on fire?

Servant.      I think, Sir, it must have been the torches.

Master        Torches! what TORCHES?

Servant.      The torches at your mothers’ funeral

Master.       What !! -  MY MOTHER IS DEAD !!

Servant.      Ay, poor lady, she never looked up after it.

Master.       After what?

Servant.      The loss of your father.

Master.       OH MY GOD – MY FATHER IS DEAD TOO !!

Servant.      Yes, poor gentleman, he took to his bed as soon as he heard of it.

Master.       Heard of what?

Servant.      The bad news your honor

Master.       WHAT BAD NEWS ?    what more bad news can be there ?

Servant.      Sir, your bank has failed, your credit is lost and you're not worth a shilling in the world.

 

vasus musings

speaking is an effort for many

while effortless for a few

 

if speaking is an art

&communication is a science

breaking the news gently, when it is tragic

then surely transcends both

& borders on magic

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a bit of laugh + a by(i)te of sanity - thursday 11th Sep 2008

Thursday – 11^th September 2008

 

The young unmarried maid announced to the lady of the house, ‘I am quitting’.

When asked why, she replied, "I'm in the family way"
The lady of the house was totally surprised and shocked, and asked who the father could be.
The maid replied, "Your husband and your son."
The lady was horrified – baffled and demanded an explanation.  
"Well," the maid explained, "I go to the library to clean it and your husband says,

'You are in my way'.

I go to the living room to clean and your son says 'You are in my way'.  
So since I am in the family way, I quit 

 

vasus musings

language to begin with is quirky

ability to speak well - could well be murky

when the two combines – as they often do

one will often find everything coming in the way

 

it is better to invest the time

to check if there is really an ‘issue’

else its not just the lady of the house

who risks loosing the maid and the broom

but the poor husband and the son

risk loosing the library and the living room

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a bit of laugh + a by(i)te of sanity

Wednesday - 10^th September 2008

 

"You've got a good lawyer to take care of the estate?" asked the mother to her daughter whose husband had died recently.

"Oh, don't talk to me about lawyers," said the recent widow angrily.

"I've had so much trouble over the property, some-times I wish Frank had never died."

 

vasus musings

life is a package

that has many a  string attached

or a stiff price to pay

 

not knowing this

most wish for many

but only after inheriting a handful

most find that

they were better off

when the hands were not full

 

p.s: the only estate one should aim to inherit is Gods’ feet…

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